The Conversion

I used to hate Christians.

I hated them with a passion.

I hated them for their self-righteousness, and for using their faith as an excuse to dominate and abuse others.

When Christianity came to my country the Philippines, the colonizers used the name of God to pillage and destroy the land of my ancestors.

They forced my people to convert to this strange new religion of subservience, and used that subservience to build for themselves monuments to their power, under the guise of bringing civility and progress to our land.

Anyone who dared question the invaders was quickly and mercilessly suppressed. Pain and death were used as tools to correct the restless and rebellious, to “purify” them in the sight of their God.

The colonizers said they were trying to put the “fear of God” into my people.

In reality, what they did was to cultivate our hate for God.

I could not understand why this Christian God, who is supposed to be loving, merciful yet full of justice, could allow His name to be used for such activities.

Maybe these Christians just made this God up so that they could have an excuse to pillage and plunder anywhere in the world.

Look! Even their so called Messiah said that He came not to bring peace, but a sword! And what is this about making disciples of all nations? Isn’t that a call to conquer and subjugate?

Clearly this was a religion of abuse and exploitation!

One of our national heroes, Jose Rizal, tried to open the eyes of my countrymen to this farce.  Through his writings, he created fictional characters in parody of real life figures and the abuses they made in his time.

As a result, the fires of revolution were kindled in the hearts of my countrymen. They would fight against this tyrannical Christian God and His followers. They would expose them for what they really were: people hungry for power and wealth hiding beneath a cunningly crafted lie.

 Christianity was a lie. It had to be.

The very lifestyle of those who brought it into our land was incontrovertible proof of this.

Are the Christians of today any different?

Do they not still try to use this so called Word of God to invade our lives, our families, our nations, our homes, so that they could promote subservience to their God? And when this subservience has been secured, do they not ask for a portion of our earnings? The bigger the portion that we give, the more they praise it!

But of course they will praise it! Its money easily earned going into their pockets!

They will say that it is meant for the church, and to support those “in need.”  If that’s the case, then why are there still so many needy people in the world? And why are the Christians getting richer?

Again the reality reflects the truth behind their lies.

I viewed all Christians as people to be distrusted. Oh sure they were polite and friendly. Sure they seem to be good friends.

But deep inside, they’re ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing. They want my money. And they want it for themselves.

Yes, I hated Christians with a passion. They were the scourge of this earth. They’re a viral disease that needs to be combated and cleansed from our societies.

As for myself, I will live by my own truth. I will live and learn by my experience. I alone shall determine the course of my life. I will be the captain of my own fate, and the author of my own destiny.

Isn’t this why we have the power of choice? It is a power that is our birthright. It is the power to change our very own lives.

And isn’t this what these Christians are trying to quell? Isn’t this the reason why they invented their “God”, so that they could prevent us from using this power over our own freedom, and to prevent us from exposing their lies?

There is no “God”.  Only man.  And man alone can determine the course of his own destiny.

I became determined to prove by my own life that God did not exist. I alone will prove, through logic and reasoning what it means to be truly “good.”

But then something happened I was completely and utterly unprepared for.

God Himself spoke. He spoke to me.

He didn’t speak with an angry, thundering and earth-shaking voice. He spoke quietly and directly to my heart. He spoke, not with His own words, but with mine.

And this is what He said to me:

“You do not understand what it means to be truly good.”

These words convicted me. They cut into my very soul.

Then God took me by the hand and led me. He led me to His Word.

I’ve read the Bible before. But I’ve never read it like this.

God opened my eyes to His words: beyond the letters, beyond the verses, beyond the chapters and books. He opened my eyes to His Spirit which lay behind and inspired these.

He showed me that His Spirit and His Word were one. And that they were eternal.

I devoured God’s Word. I ate and drank of it as a person who has gone through life without food and water. I couldn’t get enough of it.

Day after day, I read His Word.

It was fearful. It was wondrous. It was hopeful. It was joyous.

His Words were life itself.

And then, something else happened that I was completely and utterly unprepared for.

I fell in Love with God.

God had done the impossible. He had won my heart.

He breathed life into these dead bones and filled it up with His living flesh.

And today I follow Him. Not because some Christian converted me, but because God Himself came down and proved Himself to me.

To me.  Stubborn, prideful and conceited person that I am, and the least deserving of all the people of this earth.

The least worthy to receive God’s own love.

I am one of those now who sing praises to His Name. To Him be the all the Glory.

And I could sing of His love forever.

(In dedication to my worldly father, whose love I never fully understood, but whom I cherish nonetheless. Mabuhay ka paktetoy!)

Securing the Supply Line

According to Sun Tzu’s Art of War, the very first act that must be done before engaging in warfare is to commit yourselves wholly and fully to the battle. There can be no doubts as to the cause you are going to fight and sacrifice your life for.

Once committed to the battle, Sun Tzu then goes on at length to talk about securing resources for the army.

Now many would probably skip these chapters (as I have at first), dismissing them as mundane administrative matters that are too menial to discuss.

But any planner would tell you that while admin work may be mundane, the results of good admin planning is anything but.

You must deal with the matter of securing supplies to fight your battle because your supply line is your life line.

Let me re-emphasize that again: YOU WILL LOSE THE BATTLE IF YOU ARE NOT WELL EQUIPPED AND SUPPLIED FOR IT.

Here again, we’ll point to Scripture – to the very words of the Messiah Himself – admonishing those who profess to want to follow Him to count first the cost of doing so.

"If you want to be My disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be My disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow Me, you cannot be My disciple. "But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, 'There's the person who started that building and couldn't afford to finish it!' "Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? And if he can't, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. So you cannot become My disciple without giving up everything you own.

(Luke 14:26-33 NLT)

These verses deal with cost, the real cost of waging spiritual battle.

Admin work is literally about computing and counting the costs to sustain the larger endeavor. Many at this point would remember the popular catch phrase: “No money, no honey.”

If this is true of worldly warfare, it is true of spiritual warfare as well.

The only difference between the two, is that the other is fought in the unseen realms. As the Apostle Paul says to the Corinthians:

We are human, but we don't wage war as humans do.

(2 Corinthians 10:3 NLT)

And to the Ephesians:

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

(Ephesians 6:12 NLT)

So if money is the currency for waging worldly war, what is then is the currency for spiritual war?

The answer of course is faith.

The author of the Epistle to the Hebrews writes:

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

(Hebrews 11:1 NLT)

You see, faith, like money, stands for something.

Money, stands for actual resources, like food, services, raw materials etc.

Most of the time, we cannot carry around these resources in our pockets. So practically speaking, you would have to have something easier to carry around: some kind of temporary replacement for these things so that your mobility would not be compromised. That is what money is for.

Money by itself has no value if it does not represent real goods and services.

Faith is exactly the same. It stands in for something.

Faith stands in for something that you believe in with all of your heart and you will do anything in order to accomplish.

In other words, FAITH REPRESENTS YOUR GOALS.

If money is worldly currency, then faith is spiritual currency.

When we have to, we can trade in our cash for real goods. Likewise when we have to, we can trade in our faith for spiritual benefits.

FAITH THEREFORE, IS OUR SPIRITUAL LIFELINE in our spiritual war.

How many times have we read the Messiah in Scripture berating His followers: “You have so little faith!”

There are very few instances where Jesus is amazed. Usually, He is the one doing things that amaze everyone else.

If He were indeed God, then you would think that it would take something REALLY BIG to amaze Him.

In this case, however, it is quite the opposite.

Scripture records that when Jesus came back to His worldly hometown of Nazareth, He tried to preach and perform miracles there as well. But since the people there knew Him from birth, they could not believe that “that carpenter’s son” could be anything more than that, much less be the Messiah.

And because of their unbelief, He couldn't do any miracles among them except to place His hands on a few sick people and heal them. And He was amazed at their unbelief. (Mark 6:5-6 NLT)

Here you have the Hebrews of Nazareth. Being Hebrews, they were the descendants of the people of God whom He rescued from slavery from Egypt. They were His chosen ones. They were His people.

If anyone would and should believe the words of Scripture, it would and should be them. Scripture after all, is their history: a history of God’s relationship with them since the time of Moses.

They should have believed.

They of all the peoples of the earth, should have had their spiritual pockets overflowing with the spiritual currency that is faith.

But they didn’t.

And so our Lord was amazed.

How can I raise an army for God if there are none, even among His chosen people who have faith in Him? The Messiah must have thought.  How many on earth will I find who have faith?

You cannot wage war without money. And you certainly cannot wage spiritual war without faith.

My dear friends, are you prepared for the war for Life? Are your supply lines secure? Have you counted fully the cost of this campaign?

Or have you already lost the battle?

I pray that the Creator open your hearts and minds to this message as we begin the battle anew this year.

God bless you all!

The Battle Worth Fighting

Hello everyone! I hope you all doing well.

We’re only just a few weeks into this new year, and already it seems that I’ve hit the floor running.

This will be a year of big change for me and my family. Because this is the year that we’re going home.

Going home.  I’ve always associated a feeling of bittersweet nostalgia to those words. I’ve learned that one of life’s paradoxes is that we always long to leave home, and we always long to come home.

The Philippines, as my place of birth, will always be one of my homes. Though I dread the traffic, the pollution, the masses, the crime and the politics, there is no other place on earth that can claim to have nurtured a significant part of me.

It’s the one place I long to be, and the one place I loath to be.

I’m reminded of Jesus’ words on His way to Jerusalem:  

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God's messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn't let Me.

(Matthew 23:37 NLT)

It will take a lot of effort to change my country into something better than it is. And this is the ultimate paradox: to change it, I need to change myself.

Everything will depend on how much I can change myself.

I’ve just finished reading the chapter in The Road Less Traveled by M.Scott Peck dealing with the subject of Grace.

It inspired me to take stock of everything that I am right now. The result is the following poem that I’ve written, which I would like to share with you all. After I’ve finished writing it, it sounded very much like something that I’ve read somewhere before. If any of this sounds familiar to you, please let me know so I can properly acknowledge the source.

Earlier in Dr. Peck’s book, in a chapter dealing with the unconscious, he says that when we discover something “new”, we’re only finding what was already there before. Sound familiar?

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, "Here is something new!" But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new.

(Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 NLT)

Anyway, I’m not sad not to be original. I’m just happy I can express my thoughts to share them with others.

Here then is my poem:

THE BATTLE WORTH FIGHTING

How do you fight a battle you cannot win?

How do you fight a battle against all known sin?

With all your heart, with all your soul, and all your strength.

With tooth and nail, with your very last breath.

Until the last moment, until you’re begging for death.

This is the only battle worth fighting, the one worthy of it all.

This is the battle worth sacrificing one’s own life for.

This will require everything; it will require our absolute best.

For this is a battle for survival: the battle of Life over Death.

This is the battle of good versus evil, between God and the Devil himself.

This is the battle I’m fighting, and I’m fighting to save my Self.

May the Lord help me, may He equip and prepare me well.

May He help me win my way into Heaven, for defeat means a descent into Hell.

May He arm me with His Knowledge, may He sustain me with His Grace.

For this is a battle of attrition: a grand marathon of a race.

This prayer I send out to my loved ones. May it serve them well.

For this is The Battle Worth Fighting. Who can win it?

Only God can tell.

I know it sounds dreary and pessimistic. But I’ve come to accept that all truth is like that at first.

But now I know, that those who stick with the truth -- who remain loyal to it -- are rewarded with something infinitely more precious.

They are rewarded with Life.

God Bless all of you!

Regards,

Chris

PS:  Oh, and if you’re discouraged and depressed with the Book of Ecclesiastes (like I was at first), let me end with the words of the Prophet Isaiah, who, based on historians, wrote over two centuries after the author of the Book of Ecclesiastes :

You have heard My predictions and seen them fulfilled, but you refuse to admit it. Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past. So you cannot say, 'We knew that all the time!'

(Isaiah 48:6-7 NLT)

And

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

(Isaiah 43:19 NLT)

What is that something new? For that, you would have to read the New Testament. J

A Fresh Start

"Everybody wants to rule the world." - Tears for Fears

Thirty-six years.

It is an age wherein you're too old to be considered hip and too young to be respectable. At least it seems that way by today's standards.

Personally, I've discovered that this is a number of great opportunity for a human life.

Half a lifetime is just about right to have experienced enough of life's challenges to begin anew. Take a fresh start. Have a breather.

Be born again.

Am I the first to tread on this path? Certainly not.

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, "Here is something new!" But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 NLT)

Is this a reason to be sad? To be disappointed? To be angry?

A lot of people nowadays seem to think that you have to discover or invent something new to be of any value to humanity.

We wait in eager and hungy anticipation for the "next big thing": some magic formula that would cause a frenzy of euphoric delight.

Like waves splashing against the rocks, we brace ourselves for the next impact. Slowly, we are worn down, shod of our soft topsoil until only hard, jagged cliffs and coarse sand remain.

Such is the fate of the unmoving. Life wears you down and eventually passes you by.

Oh, but we can be a stubborn lot we humans. We never seem to run out of those intrepid individuals who choose to stand against the tide. Those who try to best the odds and try to swim against the current.

Our history is measured by the kingdoms and empires of such men.

Their bones are being dug up even as I type this blog.

So am I to just throw up my hands, fall on my knees and sigh along with the Preacher: "Vanity of vanities! It is all so meaningless!"

Until I realize, that I live in a time over two thousand years after our calendar was reset to zero.

A new start. A fresh beginning.

A new hope.

Life begins at zero. For me, it begins anew at thirty-six.

Except this time, I'm choosing to ride the Big One to the end.

Anyone care to get wet?